Posted on: April 7, 2008
New Friend Request
Even in the social-networking age, finding a few good friends remains a challenge for adults
By Jake Laub
CTW Features
Alison Abbot grew up near Philadelphia and even went to college in Philadelphia. But when she returned home after spending time abroad, she realized she no longer knew anyone in the area, and making friends as an adult was intimidating.
�I was actually pretty miserable for about a year after I got back from Berlin,� the 28-year-old says. �When you�re out of school and have work, it�s hard.�
Then, while trying to start a German conversation group on the Internet, she found MEETin.org, a friend-building organization for adults.
�I ended up going to a coffee mix-and-mingle,� she says. � I had such a good time I stayed out with these guys until 8pm, even though it started at two. My roommate was worried. I had walked out the door saying I was going to meet these people I found on the Internet, and didn�t come back.�
Now, two years later, she has 50 good friends to attend her birthday party, proving that schmoozing with new people doesn�t end with a college diploma. Even with the challenge of work and a family, or moving to a new city, making friends is easy if you know how to approach it. Andrea Syrtash, editor of �How to Survive the Real World� (Hundreds of Heads Books, 2006), gives this advice:
Be proactive
Having friends online is one thing, but real friendships won�t develop until you put your face out there and make an effort. Online networks are a good place to start, or you can form your own group.
�Whether it�s a party or just drinks after work, you can be the initiator,� Syrtash says. �Bring people together and tell people to invite their friends.�
Target your interests
�You make friends at work because that�s where you�re involved, but it doesn�t mean those are appropriate matches for friendships,� says Mike Heard, founder of MEETin.org. �You want to meet people with the same interests � like photography, museums or karaoke. That really makes a good start for friendships.�
Figure out what interests you would like to pursue and look for groups online. If you�re interested in sports, adult leagues are a great way to meet people who share your passion. Or you can volunteer for the local religious organization of your denomination. The opportunities are endless.
Stay optimistic
Last but not least, don�t give up.
�Keep an open mind and be proactive,� Syrtash says. �It won�t be as organic as in school, but it�s all in your attitude. Remember you�re in the same boat as other people.�
