Posted on: November 23, 2007
Top Tips to Spot College Struggles
College can be a stressful time for young adults as they learn to navigate an independent new world. With kids headed home for winter break, experts offer tips to help parents help their children with the transition
By Jeff Schnaufer
CTW Features
As college students return home for winter break this holiday season, instead of lending them the keys to the car, parents may want to consider lending them an ear.
“The first few months of college in particular can be tough,” says psychiatrist Edward Poa, medical director for the Compass Young Adult Program at The Menninger Clinic, Houston, Texas. “For many people it is their first time outside the structure of their home. They have to learn how to manage their own schedules and take care of themselves, shop for themselves and manage a budget. On top of that, they also have lost their usual high school support network.”
Experts say students who do not cope well with the challenges of the college environment may be more at risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, abusive relationships and depression.
A 2004 survey by the American College Health Association, Baltimore, Md., found nearly half of all college students reported feeling so depressed at one point in time that they had trouble functioning, and nearly 15 percent could be diagnosed as clinically depressed. Also, the ACHA’s 2006 National College Health Assessment found that 9 percent of college students had seriously considered suicide within the past year and 1.3 percent actually attempted suicide.
Experts say parents can help their children by being aware of their struggles and offering support.
“This is a period of artful parenting,” says Dr. Ken Thompson, medical director at the Center for Mental Health Studies, Rockville, Md., for the federal government’s Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration. “You don’t want to intrude so your child doesn’t feel like they can grow up. Also they may not be able to recognize they are in serious trouble,” he says.
Some of the signs your child may be struggling in college include:
• He suddenly changes his habits or mood. Rapid, unexpected change may signal adjustment problems. For example, your child usually calls on a regular basis, and then stops calling. Or he or she starts to call more often and seem more distressed or lonely. Or on a visit to your child’s college, you notice that he or she dresses dramatically different or hasn’t bathed.
• She starts making poor grades. Declining grades and frequent withdrawals from courses may indicate that your child’s focus is somewhere other than classes.
• He needs money. While it is normal for college kids to hit their parents up for money, be wary if your child is asking for more money than usual, or asking for money more frequently. Dr. Poa says this could be a sign that your child is going out frequently or spending money on alcohol or drugs. Gambling addictions are also on the rise.
• She is never available (or reachable). If you never seem to reach your child on the phone, he or she may have an active social life or may be spending too much time partying. Also be wary if your child spends all of his or her time at a new boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s house, and stops spending time with family, roommates and friends.
• He never leaves home. Many college students keep erratic schedules and like to sleep in on the weekends after a night out. But if your child seems to be asleep or just waking up every time you call, you’ll want to ask why. He or she could be sleeping off the effects of drug and alcohol abuse. Excessive sleep is also a sign of depression
Poa says other signs that your child is struggling in college include sudden changes in weight (gain or loss), a quick shift in friends they hang out with and abandonment of self-care – from messy apartments to laundry that piles up.
Spotting some of these signs in your child, however, should not be cause for uproar.
“It’s important that parents respect them as young adults, keep open lines of communication, stay helpful and supportive,” Thompson says.
“Parents shouldn’t overreact to every change in their child and check up on him or her constantly, but be aware of drastic change,” Poa says. “Continue being a parent. Listen and make yourself available to talk.”
Parents can also help, Poa says, by being aware of when their child is confronting the most change, such as exam times, sorority or fraternity rush and, if the child is an athlete, the start of their sport’s season.
Students, too, can find help through on-campus counseling centers, friends, other family members, campus clubs and churches or religious organizations.
And students themselves can find ways on their own to cope with the struggles of college.
“If you really want to do well in classes, you need to set a schedule,” Poa says. “Get enough sleep. It varies by person. The normal range is from 6 to 10 hours per day. I think generally for college students you’re looking at 7 to 9 hours for people to function well.”
Eating right can also make a difference. Avoid fast food and eating on the run wherever possible. Remember that drinking excessively also adds calories that don’t come with any nutrition.
“Too much or too little food can significantly impair a person’s ability to function,” Poa says. “Get a decent breakfast to start the day. Also eat smaller lighter meals more frequently throughout the day rather than one or two heavy meals.”
Exercise, too, can relieve stress at the same time it improves your physical health.
Finally, Poa suggests that college students read, hang out with friends or “whatever they enjoy as a hobby that is not work but gives them an opportunity to recharge.”
And if all else fails, one survey suggests reaching for a stick of gum when it comes to reducing stress.
Conducted among more than 500 college students aged 18-24, the survey by the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company found that 56 percent of students surveyed say they chew gum when they study, often to reduce stress and tension (52 percent) and increase focus and concentration (25 percent).
Now there’s something to chew on.
